Look, I get it. You’re dealing with difficult people at work. Maybe it’s a client who won’t pay, a business partner who’s being unreasonable, or a team member who’s causing drama. You’ve probably tried the usual approaches – being nice, being firm, maybe even getting lawyers involved. But nothing seems to work without burning bridges or making things worse.
Here’s the thing: people have been dealing with these exact same problems for over a thousand years. And some of the best advice ever written down comes from the Norse – you know, the Vikings. But not the Hollywood version with horned helmets. The real Norse people were traders, farmers, and community leaders who had to navigate complex relationships to survive.
Their literature – the Hávamál (Odin’s wisdom sayings), the Eddas (mythological stories), and the Sagas (historical accounts) – isn’t just ancient entertainment. It’s a survival manual for dealing with difficult people and situations. And it works just as well today.
Why Norse Wisdom Actually Matters
The Norse lived in a world where your reputation was literally your currency. Mess up your relationships, and you could find yourself cut off from trade, protection, and support. Sound familiar? In today’s connected world, word travels fast. Burn the wrong bridge, and it can follow you for years.
The Norse figured out something we’ve forgotten: most conflicts aren’t really about winning or losing. They’re about finding a way for everyone to walk away with their dignity intact while actually solving the problem.
They developed a three-part system that’s incredibly practical:
- The Hávamál gave them daily wisdom for managing relationships
- The Eddas showed them patterns of how conflicts typically play out
- The Sagas documented real-world examples of what worked and what didn’t
Think of it like having a playbook that’s been tested for a thousand years.
Odin’s Practical Advice for Modern Disputes
The Hávamál is basically Odin’s guide to not screwing up your relationships. It’s full of practical advice that sounds like it could have been written yesterday. Here are the key principles:
Do Your Homework First
“The cautious guest who comes to a meal keeps silent with sharpened hearing.”
Translation: Listen more than you talk, especially when you’re walking into a tense situation. Before you have that difficult conversation, understand what’s really going on. What does the other person actually want? What are they afraid of losing? What would a win look like for them?
I learned this the hard way when dealing with a client who seemed impossible to please. Instead of pushing back immediately, I spent time listening to their concerns. Turns out, they weren’t actually unhappy with my work – they were getting pressure from their boss and needed to show they were being tough with vendors. Once I understood that, we found a solution that made everyone look good.
Watch Your Words
“Words that one man says to another are oft what he gets back.”
This one’s simple but powerful. If you come at someone aggressively, they’ll respond aggressively. If you’re respectful but firm, you’re more likely to get the same back.
The Norse also said: “No man should utter words before he knows well what he means to say.” In other words, don’t fire off that angry email. Sleep on it. Figure out what you actually want to accomplish before you start talking.
Keep the Relationship Alive
“Be your friend’s true friend, and give gift for gift.”
This doesn’t mean you should be a pushover. It means you should think about the long game. Even when you’re in conflict with someone, look for ways to show respect and maintain the relationship. Maybe you acknowledge their expertise in one area while disagreeing on another. Maybe you find a small way to help them even while you’re negotiating.
The Norse understood that today’s opponent might be tomorrow’s ally. In business, this happens all the time. The client who’s giving you grief today might refer you to someone else tomorrow – if you handle the situation well.
Know When to Walk Away
“A man should not grip the cup but drink mead in measure.”
Sometimes the best solution is to disengage. Not every hill is worth dying on. The Norse were practical people. They knew that sometimes you cut your losses and move on.
But they also warned against being too cautious: “Cowards believe they will live forever if they hold back from the fray.” There’s a difference between strategic retreat and avoiding necessary conflicts. The key is knowing which is which.
Learning from the Gods: Patterns That Repeat
The Eddas aren’t just stories about gods and monsters. They’re patterns that show up over and over in human conflicts. Here are three that are incredibly relevant today:
The Æsir-Vanir War: When Enemies Become Allies
The story goes that two groups of gods – the Æsir and the Vanir – went to war. But instead of fighting until one side was destroyed, they decided to make peace by exchanging hostages and sharing wisdom. The former enemies became some of the strongest allies.
I’ve seen this pattern in business and client partnerships. Two companies that were competitors suddenly have to work together. The ones that succeed don’t try to dominate or eliminate the other culture. They find ways to blend their strengths.
Baldr’s Death: When Small Problems Become Big Disasters
Baldr was beloved by everyone, but Loki (out of jealousy) tricked another god into killing him. This one act of malice eventually led to the destruction of the entire world of the gods.
The lesson? Small conflicts that don’t get addressed properly can poison entire organizations. That person who’s always stirring up drama, the unresolved tension between departments, the client relationship that’s been going downhill for months – these things don’t just go away. They compound.
I’ve watched companies tear themselves apart because leadership wouldn’t address obvious problems early on. By the time they tried to fix things, the damage was too deep.
Loki’s Binding: When Someone Has to Go
Eventually, Loki became so disruptive that the other gods had to remove him from the community entirely. This wasn’t done lightly – Loki had been valuable in the past. But some people become so toxic that the only solution is separation.
In business, this is the hardest decision. Maybe it’s a business partner who’s become dishonest, or an employee who’s destroying team morale. Sometimes maintaining the relationship costs more than ending it.
Real-World Examples from the Sagas
The Sagas are where we see these principles in action. Real people dealing with real problems. Here are some examples that translate directly to modern situations:
Njál’s Saga: The Wise Counselor
Njál was known for his wisdom and his ability to resolve disputes. He followed the Hávamál principles – he listened carefully, spoke thoughtfully, and always looked for solutions that let everyone save face. For years, he successfully mediated conflicts in his community.
But the saga also shows what happens when people ignore wise counsel. Despite Njál’s best efforts, pride and stubbornness eventually led to a feud that destroyed his entire family.
The lesson for modern leaders and consultants: you can provide great advice, but you can’t force people to take it. Sometimes the best you can do is protect yourself when others make destructive choices.
Egil’s Saga: Negotiating with Power
Egil was a warrior-poet who had to deal with powerful enemies, including kings. He couldn’t win through force alone, so he used a combination of strength and strategy. When demanding compensation for wrongs done to him, he was firm but respectful. He made it clear he could cause problems if necessary, but he always left room for the other party to agree without losing face.
This is perfect for dealing with difficult clients or vendors. You need to be strong enough that they take you seriously, but smart enough that they don’t feel like they have to fight you to preserve their reputation.
Grettir’s Saga: The Cost of Poor Conflict Resolution
Grettir was incredibly strong and capable, but he was terrible at managing relationships. Every conflict he had made him more enemies. Eventually, he was so isolated that even his skills couldn’t save him.
The modern parallel is clear: you might be great at your job, but if you can’t handle conflicts well, you’ll find yourself cut off from opportunities and support.
The Norse Framework for Modern Conflicts
Here’s how to combine all three sources – Hávamál wisdom, Eddic patterns, and Saga examples – into a practical approach:
Step 1: The Wisdom Check (Hávamál)
Before you do anything, ask yourself:
- What would be wise here, not just satisfying?
- How will this affect my reputation long-term?
- Is there a way to address the problem while keeping the relationship intact?
Step 2: Pattern Recognition (Eddas)
Look at the bigger picture:
- Does this situation remind you of any of the mythic patterns?
- If this plays out badly, what could be the long-term consequences?
- Are you dealing with someone who can become an ally, or someone who’s fundamentally toxic?
Step 3: Practical Application (Sagas)
Now get specific:
- Document what’s happening objectively
- Identify people who could serve as neutral mediators
- Plan your approach with escalation levels – start gentle, get firmer only if needed
Common Challenges and Norse Solutions
“But I’m Right!”
Sometimes being right isn’t worth the cost. The Norse valued practical outcomes over moral victories. If you can get what you actually need while letting the other person save face, that’s often better than proving you were right all along.
Dealing with Toxic People
Not everyone can be worked with. The Norse were clear about this – some people are like Loki, fundamentally disruptive to community health. The key is recognizing the pattern early and protecting yourself and others.
Moving Fast vs. Thinking Long-Term
Modern business moves quickly, but Norse wisdom emphasizes patience and long-term thinking. The balance is to act decisively when needed, but always with an eye on the long-term consequences.
Your Action Plan
Here’s how to start using this approach:
This week:
- Pick one current conflict or tense relationship
- Apply the three-step framework above
- Before your next difficult conversation, spend 10 minutes thinking about what the other person actually wants
This month:
- Start documenting conflicts objectively, like the saga writers did
- Identify 2-3 people in your network who could serve as neutral mediators when needed
- Practice the Hávamál principle of listening more than you speak
Long-term:
- Build your reputation as someone who resolves conflicts rather than escalates them
- Start recognizing the patterns in your industry or organization
- Develop relationships before you need them
The Bottom Line
The Norse figured out something we’ve largely forgotten: conflict is inevitable, but destruction isn’t. With the right approach, you can address problems, preserve relationships, and build a reputation as someone who makes things better rather than worse.
Their wisdom has survived for over a thousand years because it works. It’s not about being soft or avoiding conflict. It’s about being smart, strategic, and focused on outcomes that actually matter.
The next time you’re facing a difficult situation, remember: you’re not the first person to deal with unreasonable people, broken promises, or competing interests. The Norse faced the same challenges and developed proven strategies for handling them.
Their advice is simple: be wise, be strong, think long-term, and always remember that how you handle today’s conflict shapes tomorrow’s opportunities.
